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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Brother Bear.

When I was pregnant, we did not find out what we were having. That was a surprise that was really important to me and it was fun to hear people guess and wonder what I would be having.

Most every single person that gave me an opinion told me I was having a girl and to be completely honest I had begun to believe the same thing. (In fairness, I should say that J was the only person who confidently said my entire pregnancy I was having a boy.)

I'd come from a family of three girls, my dad had five sisters, we knew girls. The closest I'd ever come to having a brother was foster children that at times stayed at our home and an old childhood friend I spent years side by side.

Well obviously we all know that H turned out to be a boy, giving T and M a baby brother. We've never said half-brother, it's always been brother.

I had always anticipated M to be a mini-mama after the baby would be born. I expected that she'd want everything to do with taking care of baby. That she'd be overly concerned and want to do everything from helping with feedings to changing diapers.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Don't get me wrong, M loves H, he's her brother and there are certainly times she treasures and enjoys him. But there are other times where he is just plain in her way. Under her skin and annoying.

T, on the other hand, truly, truly is a brother bear to H. Yes, he sometimes is annoyed when H is in his things or following him from room to room. But for the most part, he adores his baby brother and will do anything for him. He's always willing to help me out by getting him a snack or reading him books. Keeping him away from danger and protecting him from things I wouldn't want him playing with.

Sometimes I take this for granted. When H was a tiny newborn (or not so tiny, depending on how you look at it) sometimes I would get irritated with all the questions and requests to hold H or carry H. There were many times that T would ignore my requests to leave H alone, and sleeping H would be wide awake. But he just wanted to play with his brother.

The love that T has given to H has certainly rubbed off on H as he loves T. He points out T in any photo and recites and requests his brother repeatedly. When we see the school, H asks for T.

When T and M return from their moms, H lights right up, he misses them. I didn't anticipate how he'd feel going a couple days each week without his siblings. I'm hopeful that as time goes on he'll realize it is just what it is, but it is heartbreaking to hear him cry when we pull out of their mom's driveway and heartbreaking to watch him look out the window at the school bus on a day T and M aren't on it. This is one of those things they don't tell you in blended family books, but instead one you have to learn.
Last night, J had taken M to gymnastics and the boys and I played, H danced around. The phone rang and I got on the phone and when I hung up I realized it was awfully quiet. I walked down the hall to H's room and found T rocking, sleeping H. My heart melted. This dynamic and relationship I had not expected. But I love it and am proud of T and the brother he is.

T is the big brother bear. And there couldn't possibly be a better brother for H, than T himself.


Blogger Kim said...

I too am sometimes frustrated by j's love for e, especially when said love wakes him up. What a precious story, and that final photo made me melt too.

February 27, 2008 at 12:29 PM  
Blogger Jon, Sara, Tyler, and Sophie said...

You have such a wonderful family. Thanks for sharing.

February 27, 2008 at 2:26 PM  
Blogger The Lindahl News said...

What a tribute to T! H is lucky to have him in his life. Sweet pictures.

February 27, 2008 at 10:12 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

That last picture is heartbreakingly beautiful. Sounds a lot like the relationship my brothers share. So glad your kids all love each other so much. Further evidence of what wonderful parents you and J are!

February 27, 2008 at 10:40 PM  
OpenID lyndaspix said...

Awwwww, that is so sweet! My stepsons (14 and 11) are very close, though they are at an age (or perhaps it's a stage) now where they fight constantly! Their pecking at each other drives me crazy sometimes! But I clearly remember the times when the younger wouldn't even think of making a decision without his big brother's input.

I cherish all the moments with have with the boys. I wouldn't trade those times for anything!

February 28, 2008 at 1:04 AM  
Blogger Emanuel and Kendra Wheeler said...

Your boys are so sweet! I love reading about them and this post made me well up with tears because it is just such a wonderful bond that siblings share! Thank you for sharing their story.

February 28, 2008 at 7:27 AM  
OpenID asecrettobluebamboo said...

My heart-daughters share a similiar relationship, and I've always felt that they are so blessed. Thanks for sharing the wonderful tribute to T.

February 28, 2008 at 1:19 PM  
Blogger audrey said...

I have to tell you, that last picture brought tears to my eyes. How sweet it is that T cares for H so lovingly!

What a wonderful family you have, Sarama. I love reading the stories that you (so beautifully) share.

February 29, 2008 at 11:05 AM  
Blogger Yolanda Elvira said...

that is so cute! hey, was that adam sandler eating pizza in your living room?

March 3, 2008 at 10:58 AM  

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