This Girl.

Last week I volunteered at M's school to help make the Christmas presents for all the parents. It was fun and I actually really like it. (I'm not going to say what it is because I'm supposed to be surprised on Christmas, even though I was there when she made it. Silly, I know.)

Parents are asked to send it $2 to help defray the costs of the activity and we sent $4. We have never wanted to put the kids in the position where they have to choose who to make a craft such as that for at Christmas. And the kids want to make something for both sets of their parents.

So when M's class arrived to make their craft, her teacher handed M, who was at the end of the line, her two jars and she got started going from station to station.

And I watched her go from happy, smiley girl to quiet and avoiding eye contact by the last station.

Most every mom that was there helping asked her why she got to make two jars.

"How come you get to make two?"
OR
"How'd you get lucky enough to make two?"

And at the beginnning M would answer, "I have two homes."

But by the end, she wouldn't answer anymore.

Embarrassed, ashamed by something out of her control. Our once prideful preschooler who has never known anything but this life, with mom, dad and stepmom. And now, stepdad too.

Or maybe it wasn't even that, maybe it was just realizing that she was the only one making two. The only one anyone was asking anything besides; would you like Christmas M&M's or regular M&M's?

I was helpless. Looking at her sweet face, wishing I could make the question stop being asked.

One mom, seated two seats away from my station even asked the mom next to her if M had to pay for two as M left the classroom.

"We did send money for two." I said. Stopping her in her tracks as she made the connection that I was connected to this little girl that she thought she could possibly judge.

What more could I say? What more could I do?

At eight years old, the outside world is pointing out that she is different and she is feeling it.

For every awkward, uncomfortable moment I have had to live as a stepmom, I would do them all ten fold at the cost for her to never feel that way again.

She owes no one an explanation for decisions that are not hers. A life she didn't make for herself. This whole two homes business wasn't her doing. But this is this girls life. This girl, is more than a child of divorce. She is more than child in two homes. This girl is loved and beautiful. Intelligent and articulate. This girl is just a girl.

Won't you just let her be, just a girl for awhile longer?