The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.

I'm pretty sure that age four is the new two.

Today, my lovely, lovely, smiley, happy four year old really gave me a run. Literally.

This morning at a friends he took off on a battery operated motorbike. (Think: four wheelerish.)

By took off I mean went the equivalent of three blocks and only stopped because I had caught up to him.

I ran and I yelled out to stop. To come back. And he looked at me and laughed. Oh I wish it weren't true but it is.

When I silently drove home after catching him and expressing my serious disbelief and dissatisfaction with him he asked "Mama, are you mad?"

To which I asked him what he thought.

"Umm, no." He said in his sing song voice.

It was a school day today so the two of us had a little afternoon break from each other. Which was good.

I needed time to cool down. Literally.

Because it was hot and sunny out there and I don't remember the last time I ran that far, that fast.

But later this afternoon he decided to run my foot over with another ride-on toy. My toe is still throbbing six hours later.

"You're done!" I told him eight times over as my insides crumbled.

But really, what I want to do is scream: "Who are you? And what have you done with my sweet boy?"

I don't of course.

Because I still get to have the bad days. And if it had been raining today, I've have called it ugly but the sun was shining. That redeemed us all today.

I am silent because my brain is in overdrive after I tell him he's done. I have talked so much my voice is just a background noise at this point. My words will not make it through so I am silent.

Thinking and listing all the good in the day.

Miss E in her sundress and sunhat helping water all the plants.

And Miss M interviewing me for a career school project she's doing.

A clean house that I didn't clean.

And my favorite shows on tv tonight.

I can't let the frazzling fours break me down because though it was a doozy of a day, I still get to have these sorts of days.

The good. The bad. The ugly.

Along with those great days like yesterday where everything goes along swimmingly and my smile never leaves my face.

And then those days like today where I want to hold him and look at him and make him understand and tell him that I love him even when he's pushed every last button I've got.

Because oh how I do.

Days like today are the truest example of unconditional love.