Conversations.

From the bathtub in H's best whisper voice, "Evie, Grandma Nan loves you so much. Even though she didn't meet you here, she loves you. Ok?"

According to H, Grandma Nan and Miss E had a collision meeting on their opposite-routed paths to and from heaven. E was on her way down while Grandma Nan was on her way up. I think I'm going to let him believe this forever.

He's had Grandma Nan on his little mind all day today. Questioning the hows and the whys and the what ifs. We're shopping in Target and he's asking me why the medicine the doctors had didn't make her better and what if the medicine doctors give him doesn't work when he's sick. And we're driving in the car and he's asking me why we go remember her inside instead of outside at the cemetery and who decided that anyway.

And then tonight he tells J that Boppa came over today {he didn't} because he wanted to visit Grandma Nan but she couldn't leave heaven to visit. {She must be pretty busy up there or something.}

She's on his mind and he's trying to make sense of it all. It's out of the blue and hard to pinpoint why now the curiousity, but it's there.

I admit it's not easy to talk about with a five year old but it's also refreshing. Children don't filter, they just ask and they say and we adults swallow the lump in our throat and try to simplify something too complex for our own understanding.

It's just the best we can do.