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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Just Write: Missing It.

As I swing through the revolving door of the hotel and step foot outside, I can feel it. The air is different, everything is moving faster and faster. Cars honk and a taxi roars past. The people on the street are walking past me in a flurry to get here or there or wherever it is they need to be.

I walk, leisurely at first, until I realize, this is the city life I thought I'd have and be so many years ago.

When I was in college, I had big city plans. I wasn't going to have a car, I'd take the train where I needed to go. I'd dress up for work and I would be important.

I walk into Starbucks where the baristas are starting all the regular's drinks and greeting them by name. I am lost in a dream when I realize the guy behind the counter has asked for my order three times over. I'm already  not keeping up with the pace.

I feel both like an imposter and also like I've missed this.

There was a time I lived in the city and walked fast and moved fast and felt oh so important.

And there was a time I travelled for work and flew here and there and had meetings in a fast paced world.

Then one day, I changed my story. I decided I didn't want that or need that and that I wanted something more and something different and it all changed.

And most days I'm good with it. I'm happy with the choices we've made and where I sit today and that I am able to pursue the things I really want to do. But I do have a city heart and sometimes something hits just enough to make me miss it.

Linking up to Just Write.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Jes said...

It is amazing and funny sometimes the changes we make to our story, and the things that we don't miss, yet miss. Thank you for making me think about this today.

February 21, 2012 at 10:00 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

First time visiting, such a great post. You captured the buzz of the city life perfectly. Sometimes I wish I had the fast paced life but then I realize I do, just in a different form than I had imagined.

February 22, 2012 at 7:48 AM  
Blogger nicole said...

Yes. I wouldn't say I anticipated a city life, but something different from what I am doing. But when the possibility of going back to work was raised a couple of years ago, it felt all wrong. But I do sometimes miss the brief professional life I had.

February 22, 2012 at 7:59 AM  
Blogger j-tony said...

Great way to put it, "I would be important". I think we all have that feeling/thought. You are so right. Then something changes. Nice post.

February 22, 2012 at 10:50 AM  
Blogger j-tony said...

Great way to put it, "I would be important". I think we all have that feeling/thought. You are so right. Then something changes. Nice post.

February 22, 2012 at 10:51 AM  

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