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Thursday, June 14, 2007

True Hollywood Honesty.

With the Paris Hilton "scandal" of sorts unfolding at the end of last week, I wondered why it was made to be such a big deal in the news.


Because she's rich.

Famous.


And, she's Paris.


I am so tired of reading and hearing about Paris. Tired of reading about Brittney and all the other dysfunctional Hollywood stars.


That's why when I read this essay by Jamie Lee Curtis, I wanted to applaud her.


I've taken the below essay from Huffington Post. I couldn't have said it better myself. May this be a reminder and a lesson to us all. I bolded the parts that I find the most affirming and important.


As the denouement of a really upsetting celebrity scandal came to its close, a tearful child pleaded to her mother... "Mom, it's not right."

It was a painful episode to watch. A young woman, begging her mother, the person who should have taught her right from wrong, to help her, to teach her the rules of life. It was a little too late. And so she wept as the Universe was bringing the teaching and settling the score.

I'm in no glass house. I understand only too well the pitfalls of maternal amnesia and denial. I am not throwing stones but merely a lifesaver, a buoy of sanity and understanding.

"My analyst told me, that I was right out of my head," Joni Mitchell sang in the song "Twisted." I was twisted. I am twisted. I am deluded that my attempts at being liked and loved by my children and friends with them -- all at the same time -- were going to result in "well raised children." We were the generation that would take the job of raising our children and turn it into... PARENTING. We were the generation who applauded every move they made. Every step they took. "Good climbing, Brandon" was our hue and cry. We were raised by people who didn't "understand" us and now we don't "understand" why our children are so messed up.

It is a national epidemic. Omnipotent children running amok or sitting amok as they watch TV and play electronic games and shop on eBay.

The sad paths of the three most popular young women -- privileged but from varying backgrounds, talented, beautiful and spectacular -- have ended in prison, rehab and mental illness. I hope their mothers are worried sick and wondering, "What could I have done differently?" And our culture should be asking the same question too.

What we need to do is look long and hard at our part in all this. Where did our children get the message that the rules don't apply to them? And where did we, the Mothers, get the message that if we abdicate our responsibilities as Mothers, the Universe will do our job for us? And it does, but without any of the love and tenderness and compassion that we could have given, along with the lessons.

Now it's just the cold hard facts of a jail cell or the emptiness of a rehab room.

I'm not pointing fingers. I'm asking questions.


Can we take the wrenching sight of Paris asking her mother, "why?" and ask it of ourselves?

My analyst told me this: "Children are paparazzi. They take your picture mentally when you don't want them to, when you don't look good, and show it back to you in their behavior."

Let's hope that we all learn what is RIGHT and what is so WRONG.

Wake up, Mothers and smell the denial.

Well said, Ms. Curtis.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

After you asked me to read the blog, I agree with Ms curtis and you. Some people have to be taught right & wrong don't forget like I do and think it comes natural it doesn't.
love ya Dadio

June 15, 2007 at 10:52 AM  
Blogger LeRoy Dissing said...

No one has more influence on a person than a mother on her child...both for good and for bad. At least that is what I have seen repeatedly. All you need to do in taking the pulse of a family is look at how well mom is doing. Many actors/actresses were probably raised as narcissists believing the only thing that mattered in life was them - the universe revolved about them and they were the sun. If anything went wrong, it was always someone else's fault. I think it is a form of emotional damage similar to parents who push their children so hard in sports to succeed...the ones who chew out the coaches in public when their child doesn't win or didn't win a beauty contest?

Good post for pondering on those quiet evenings or mornings when one is alone.

June 16, 2007 at 3:56 AM  

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