Twenty-Six.

Dear 16 year old Samara,
You just had to take your drivers test on your birthday didn't you? Even against your mothers wishes to just wait a day or two. Give it a couple weeks, you can test again, and chances are you'll pass out of the sheer fact that it's not your birthday.

Your parents drive you crazy always having to know where you are going, when you'll be home and who you're going to be with. They do this because they love you, but you think it's to annoy you. Needless to say your friends are what is important right now. Realize that you will most likely not talk to a single one of these "BFF's" ten years from now, and you'll be just fine.

Be glad that your mom makes you save half of your paychecks from babysitting and working. She's teaching you how to save.

With love,
26 year old Samara
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Dear 18 year old Samara,
You are counting down the end of high school and the road to college. You are determined to go live in the big city (Chicago).

The start of college will be hard. Realize you are all in the same boat, you are all new, you are all figuring out what a life of living on your own without parents is like.

You will not meet any decent guys in Chicago (though you will think otherwise) Don't bother even going out with them. It will only be a waste of your time, energy and feelings.

Maybe you could try to focus just a tad bit more on school work and less on socializing? I don't know, it's just a thought.

With love,
26 year old Samara
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Dear 20 year old Samara,
This year you will make some big decisions. People will question you and at times make you feel like you are making the worst decision of your life. Don't listen to them. Moving back to Minnesota turns out to be one of the best things for you.

You'll meet someone. At a coffee shop. Very random. You'll want to run and you actually escape to Sweden less than 72 hours later. But this is going to be something good.

Enjoy Sweden wholly. Take more pictures.

Tell your parents you love them more.

With love,
26 year old Samara
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Dear 21 year old Samara,
Things are getting serious with coffee shop man. Everyone under the sun will give you their opinion on this. Ignore them or get thicker skin.

Keep working hard in school but don't kill yourself doing it. Your GPA really won't matter even three years from now.

You will never regret graduating a semester early and starting a job the next day. You have made your parents very proud.

Don't be ashamed about the Spanish tutor. You'll end up passing the class while many around you won't.

Don't touch your savings, you'll be glad to have it later.

With love,
26 year old Samara
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Dear 22 year old Samara,
You are about to get married. Not only are you getting a husband but you're so lucky you get two small children too.

Don't sweat the small stuff. They will break your things, ruin some of your nice clothes and use up your favorite shampoo. Is it really that big of a deal?

Later this year you'll buy a house and move far, far away from the city. You'll agonize about the fact that it is exactly 24 miles away from your parents. It all works out in the end and you still see your parents often.

With love,
26 year old Samara
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Dear 23 year old Samara,
You are very busy at a job you're beginning to hate. You could care less about the raise and the travel, you feel unfulfilled and unappreciated.

You will end up quitting and then you'll end up bored. out. of. your. mind.

In your spare time you'll manage to get pregnant which adds a whole new dynamic to this whole 'figuring out what I want to be/do' dilemna.

You'll start a blog which will end up leading you to some interesting opportunities later, but you don't know that yet.


With love,
26 year old Samara
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Dear 24 year old Samara,
In three weeks you'll become a mom to a baby boy. So stop reading this and go REST. Take more naps and sleep in as much as you can. You will never get this much time to yourself again. Take advantage of it.

You will feel overwhelmed when you are left with all three kids. You'll be fine. Don't worry about the house. Just enjoy this time.

You will have many moments of frustration about your body. Get over it. You should be proud of what your body has been able to do...carry a baby, deliver a baby, nourish and feed a baby. Do not be in such a hurry to look "normal", your body is forever changed and you are now a mom.

You will finally get published.

With love,
26 year old Samara
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Dear 25 year old Samara,
This may be your most difficult year yet. Slow down. Don't worry. Make each day count.

You will spend many days driving to and from your parents house and at times whatever hospital your mom is in, don't worry about the kids being in the car too much. You are teaching them something very important and that is how to take care of ones loved ones.

Cry. As much as you want, whenever you want.

Let things go.

It doesn't feel like things will ever feel better, but they will in time.

Keep writing. Not only is it good for your soul but you're getting more and more contacts and more and more things published here and there. It's random but you enjoy it and that's what is important.

Stop caring what anybody else thinks.

With love,
26 year old Samara