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Monday, September 17, 2007

Shoes.

As H and I stood in line at a restaurant to get {unhealthy fast food} lunch one day last week we chatted with a gentleman named Cornelius.

I find that having a baby with you is an instant conversation piece, and people who would have otherwise not said a word to me all of a sudden want to both my and H's attention. This has happened everywhere from the mall to airport restrooms regardless of gender or age.

Cornelius was an African American man with a big bright smile and a white hat atop his head. H was captivated.

We chatted about babies and toddlers and life until I heard a voice behind me say my name.

I turned around to see two gentlemen I used to work with downtown.

One of the men gave me the once over and then smugly asked about who the little one was.

I introduced H and explained that he's just shy of 17 months.

They humored me and acted interested in what I had to say and what I was doing now for a whole 30 seconds, then we exchanged our "nice to see you's" and "take care's" and started to go our seperate ways.

I said goodbye to my new friend Cornelius and walked towards my minivan. I watched the other two walk towards their car, and I felt my insecurities rising.

I knew that both of them had looked down upon the choice to leave a couple years ago and I could tell that neither were impressed with what I was doing now.

Don't get me wrong, they're both wonderful men who do are great assets to the company and love what they do.

But here were two former colleagues dressed in their corporate business attire, like I used to be. I'm sure they'd never seen me look as casual as I looked.

My unwashed hair thrown into a ponytail, a sweater thrown on with some faded jeans.

Ugh! Why is it that sometimes we can beat ourselves up over other people's opinions?

As I buckled H into his seat I looked down at my shoes and I realized that at least I had good shoes on.

And I felt a whole lot better, because I am happy with what I'm doing these days. It suits me and it is where I want to be. I wouldn't change anything for now. So why would I feel bad, right?

Plus, I was wearing good shoes.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My dear, enjoy this time with the young ones you won't regret a minute. Your mom used to say she was raising the next generation of patriots of hard working voters ectt, or something like that. I am sure she will give the exact qoute when she reads this. You are right where God wants you to be..Your 2 business friends are missing the bigger picture believe me.
Love ya all
Dadio

September 17, 2007 at 2:57 PM  
Blogger ann-marie said...

never let others' smugness and insincerity get you down. it is they who are unhappy and need to make others the same so that they feel better.

you are doing wonderful work, too, a great asset to your family and friends. and so what if you're not dressing in corporate clothing? you said it yourself, what you're doing now "suits" you.

and the shoes can't hurt. ;)

September 18, 2007 at 3:13 PM  

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