Thinking.

I took a day off today from my two-day a week job. I've been doing that a lot lately. Mostly because I can. Now that my position has been cut I need to use up a certain amount of time off hours before the end of the school year. I've been using time off for various meetings and appointments. There's a local publication I meet with monthly about freelance things.

I'm also using my connections. Of the thousands of people that I graduated with at the U of MN, I really only took with me one connection that I still keep in contact with. After several months of botched lunches or coffee meetings (mostly due to me and the crazy life I've been living) we finally connected and I learned about a potential opportunity right up my alley.

I've also found new connections (at times, thanks to this blog). One such connection is a mom on a mission of building 'mom-friendly' businesses. Thoroughly enjoyed my time with her today while we bounced thoughts off of each other and would love to see where this leads down the road.

I feel like it's my senior year in high school or college all over again, where the world is my oyster and I can do or be anything I want to, except I don't know how to get there.

Last week I was offered a (babysitting) position within the school district that was more a slap in the face than anything. In all reality, I'm entirely overqualified for the job I've been doing let alone what they thought I might want to consider. Because I have a sense of humor I managed to make light of their offer, and they blankly stared at me like I was nuts. Let them think so, I'm fine with it.

Oh and then there's the whole child care thing. Babysitter girl part two informed me last week that she can only babysit until the end of April. Apparently she's going to New York with her e-harmony boyfriend for the month of May. (No offense to any e-harmony couples out there.) Here we go again. (Did I tell you that my job doesn't end until June 3?)

I'm beginning to feel myself getting a little bit stressed about not having a job.

I have discovered that when I am doing something I enjoy, I am not only happier and more content with my life but I am a better parent and a better person. Yes, I could become stay at home mom extraordinare but I wouldn't be a very good one. I need balance, like having one foot at home and one foot at a job that I enjoy where I feel I am doing something worthwhile. I'm not just looking for a job, I'm looking for someplace where I use my gifts and skills too and where I can be home sometimes and out in the world sometimes.

And I really do believe that my job being cut at the school was a good kick in the tush for me. But even I have to say it's kind of a scary kick. The world is a big, beautiful, yet overwhelming place.

So friends, family, strangers, whoever you may be...throw me a bone. Give me an idea to chew on, to contemplate. Don't like leaving comments? Send me an e-mail.

Make me get out of this comfort zone and do the things I say I want to do. Because we only get one life, and this is mine.