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Saturday, December 13, 2008

Today.

Today, Miss E, turned 10 days old.

Ten days old is still "brand new" to me.

And today, H, went to a birthday party where once again before my eyes he transformed from a little one to a big one. He was so excited and so happy to go to a "friend" party.
Today, Saturday, December 13, might not be a monumental day for you. Maybe you're counting down to Christmas. Or maybe you did some shopping or baking. Maybe you did nothing.

Today marked one year. One year ago today my mom passed away.

I did not forget amidst the busyness of newborn life. As soon as the calendar turned the December memories flooded my mind as though they happened yesterday.

Meeting hospice. Talks with family. Hospital visits. Long tearful drives to and from the hospital. And one late night phone call. Waking my then-20-month old and bundling him in his blanket from 'Grandma Nan' to go to the hospital for what was the last time.

There is more, much, much more. But there is not much more I can say that I haven't already said.

I still miss my mom. And there are many times I wish that she were here or that I could call her or see her.
Lately I think that I would have loved to show off her newest granddaughter to her.

Yes, I still miss my mom.

Especially today.

"They" say the first year is the hardest. The holidays. The birthdays. The anniversaries.

But I am not so sure "they" are right.

Because even though the days have gotten easier, and even though the tears don't fall as quickly, there is still a hole in me, missing her.

My mumsy.
So, today, after a long and busy day of birthday fun and celebrating our own new life, I am thinking of her. Remembering the remarkable woman she was.

Acknowledging that I would not be who I am today if it weren't for her.

And realizing, I am so thankful that I am able to say that.

6 Comments:

Blogger The Lindahl News said...

My thoughts have been with you today. And now it is tomorrow.

You wrote yet another lovely blog; thank you.

December 14, 2008 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger Jon, Sara, Tyler, and Sophie said...

Your mom really was a remarkable woman, and so are you! You and your family are in our prayer.

December 14, 2008 at 10:30 AM  
Anonymous dadio's said...

Thank you for your post..

Love you all
Dadio's

December 14, 2008 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger The Bishops said...

Samara -
I've been thinking of you today and I know today was hard. I know your mom is so proud of the woman and mom you are - and so beautiful that you realize how much of you is your mom. She will forever be in your heart.

December 14, 2008 at 10:19 PM  
Blogger Emanuel and Kendra said...

Samara..you have been in my thoughts but more importantly my prayers! God's been hearing about you and that wonderful family of yours! I love you.

December 15, 2008 at 6:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I haven't been online all weekend due to getting things ready for Christmas. I just want to say I Love You.
I miss her also.

Hugs
Aunt Laurie

December 15, 2008 at 9:20 AM  

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