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Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Package Deal.

When J and I were first married, I searched high and low for stepmom resources that I could apply to my life.

What I came up with was either outdated or not quite appropriate for our family situation.

I was bummed.

Over time, more and more stepmom blogs have popped up out of the wood work and it seems that there are many more stepmoms out there, working together and helping other stepmoms all the time.

One of those stepmoms is Izzy Rose who runs the website Stepmother's Milk. (You may or may not remember that she profiled both myself and Lori in 2007.)

Izzy Rose sent me a copy of her new book: The Package Deal: My (Not-S0) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom and it is hands down the best book about being a stepmom I have ever read.

One of the things I have so longed for in a book on stepfamilies is honesty. Refreshing honesty. No sugar coating but also no over exaggeration. Straight out, to the point honesty and does Izzy ever give that. She oozes it with each chapter as she chronicles her tale and time adjusting to life not only as a new wife and stepmom but also states away from her friends and family.

So many books on being a stepmom or in a stepfamily either send you to yoga singing kumbaya or fill you up with anger, hurt and frustration.

Not Izzy though.

Her 'rules' and lessons learned couldn't be put any better. Some of my favorites: "Don't act like a hostess, act like a mother." and "Accept what is." and "Relinquish all grand ideas of gaining control."

If you want to know more, you'll just have to read the book.

She brought up so many good points that I think that every stepmom has at some point struggled with.

Izzy also reminds herself (and stepmom readers) that WE chose this. We chose to marry these men with children. We chose the true package deal.

It's been said on a few other sites that have reviewed her book that when you read her book you feel like you're catching up with a good friend. I couldn't agree more.

The way Izzy writes makes you feel as though you are there experiencing it with her. Laughing. Wincing some times. Laughing some more. It is so good.

Finally, she has inspired me. Inspired me to really be real, set expectations but realize that being in a stepfamily is an ever evolving process (whether you've been in one a year or five years) and to also not allow my own life to get completely trampled over either.

If you are looking for a great quick read that is honest and down to earth, I highly recommend her new book. She gives a great, inspiring real glimpse into life transitioning from single gal to stepmom.

And the best part, and my favorite, she makes it all sound glamorous.


Blogger Melissa said...

I'm so glad you've found a resource and someone who "gets it". Sometimes we don't wish "getting it" on anyone, but always, when it comes to us, it is priceless.

I am sure there are women out there who find your blog to be a great dose of "getting it". Published or blogged, your writing makes a difference!

June 7, 2009 at 11:43 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

I agree with Melissa, and I think your blogs would make a great book as well. :)

June 8, 2009 at 10:36 AM  
Blogger Peggy said...


I couldn't agree more! I also reviewed Izzy's book and found it to be so refreshing...just like a martini with a lemon twist!


June 8, 2009 at 3:27 PM  
Blogger Joanna said...

Sorry, I have to disagree. As someone who gained a stepmom at age 16, with a younger brother who gained one at 13, i can say without a doubt that if my stemom had tried to "act like a mother", when my own mother was the one I lived with, and was fully functional, I would have had some major issues. Perhaps it needs to be said that acting like a hostess is not a good idea either, but there has to be some sort of happy medium.

June 8, 2009 at 5:34 PM  
Blogger simplicity said...

Joanna, Thanks so much for the feedback. I can definitely see being the ages you were at the time that having some one swoop in and "act like mother" would have been problematic. I also think that there is a huge difference between taking over as a mom and doing motherly tasks. Great feedback and point of view. Thanks again for sharing.

June 8, 2009 at 6:05 PM  

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