My Best. 2.

Last weekend, a new friend, interviewed me for a project she's doing. She asked questions about modern motherhood, how things have changed from my perspective and what I think about having it all. We talked strollers and my strange obsession that has fully utilized the third stall of our garage. (We're at 6 right now, which is down. But I'm contemplating another. Is there a strollers anonymous out there?)

One portion of our conversation stayed with me long after and it was because mostly as I said the words I realized how very much I meant them and how in that moment, in this moment, how content and blessed I really am about life and my roles.

It is not perfect. Oh, it is so not perfect.

Where I once struggled with this idea of success and feeling I was far away from where I thought I wanted to be, I have found this sense of peace. Of knowing that I am doing what I need and want to do right now.

For one of the first times in my life I am not considering jobs or resumes or options. The document on my computer with my resume intact hasn't been touched in almost 2 years now and I wonder when this switch flipped.

I think that old Mommy War thing still happens today and I was never exempt. I'm just not fighting it right now.

Don't get me wrong, I still have dreams and aspirations and the idea of writing a book is still something I'm yearning for.

But...

I am happy and blessed and truly believe I am living and doing my best right now.

My kids, all four of them, are happy and healthy and loved.

And isn't that the goal of every mother out there?

It's not having the child who's the fastest runner or best speller. It's not having the cutest kids or the ones who never get in trouble at school. It's not who's child is in the most activities and speaks the most languages. By the third grade.

It's not having the child who always complies, it's having the ones who question and give us things to ponder and make us realize that sometimes our own rules make no sense. It's having children that struggle to listen or love to tattle on their siblings.

The goal isn't the balance in our checking or the most beautifully designed home.

At the end of the day, we may not have had a gourmet dinner and I may have lost it. Only once or twice.

Though there may be shoes scattered across my entry, loads of laundry waiting in my laundry room, dishes needing to be rinsed and paperwork needing to be gone through, as long as I have heard my kids laughing and playing and living life, I will have succeeded.

The rest of it, details.

And that to me, is living and doing my best as a mom and a stepmom.

To see the first part of this post, you can read it here.