Two.

We didn't get much sleep last night.

J was putting together E's new play kitchen to surprise her with this morning. Though we've had the kitchen for months we pretty much waited until the last minute to get it put together. It was after 1am the last I looked at the clock and then before we knew it there was a happy chatter coming from the crib and H bouncing up and down asking when we can get up and get this birthday celebration under way.

5:45am, people.

But birthdays are my thing. So we dragged ourselves out of bed, rubbing our eyes, willing them to stay open because this is her first day of being two and we were going to do it up right.

I won't ever forget it. Her excited wiggly body running around playing. Enjoying her balloons and presents to open. I say it all the time but it's true, this is the good life.

She got her first real baby doll. She's played with M's hand me down dolls (with their leftover food remnants stuck in their mouths and all) and she's got a couple miniature baby dolls but this was it. She's in love.

There is so much to say about this sweet girl who captured our hearts two years ago.

It seems as though eternity has passed since then, yet it seems like yesterday.

There are moments where I can re-live and tell each and every detail of that day as if it were just the other day and I think sometimes I remember so well because it was an emotion-filled day.

The one day in my life {within three hours, no less} that I experienced every emotion. From excitement over meeting this new baby who teased us for a month. To fear, when there was no heartbeat, when there was shouting, when there was rushing and hushed voices real quick. To overwhelming sadness over what might be and to anger when I prayed to God a secret, angry prayer. To a moment of calm when that rhythmic ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum came back. To excruciating pain. To joy.

The day ended in joy.

I know this picture doesn't show Miss E besides her pink hat and I know my face is mostly covered by my hair but if there was one picture of E's day of birth I would use to share that day, this would be the one.

For awhile after losing my mom I was so ungrateful and dissatisfied with God and in these moments I was overwhelmed with gratitude and love and peace.

And two years later, I still am.

Evelyn Nanette. Our two year old wonder.

She is changing and turning as we watch. She's seeming older and talking more and growing, like really growing now.

She has a ready smile and a bubbly, contagious, from the pit of her stomach, laugh. It's that baby belly laugh and oh, has she got it.

Her telling eyes and calm persona are still there.

Much of what I wrote last year still rings true....

Happy Birthday Miss E!

You are loved in an unconditional, incomprehensible way.

You are sunny and warm and full of life. You brighten everyone's day around you with that big grin.

You live up to your giant grown up name with your big, blue, wise eyes.

We couldn't have hoped or prayed for a more content little girl who fills up our life.

We thank God for you every day.

May you continue to be curious and continue to exude the overwhelming kind of happy. Please keep reminding me to slow down to enjoy the days.

Thank you for all the yesterdays, and all the tomorrows to come, but let me appreciate and enjoy you today for who you are and where you're at right now.

Love, Mama

*Birthday shirt is from here. I bought it and was not compensated blah, blah, blah..