Overwhelmed.

I mentioned this summer that there was a stay at home mom who wrote something about her feelings that being a stay at home mom is not that hard. I said a few times that I would get back to that, but it was never quite the right time. I was never quite feeling as strongly as I do right now.

So today I interrupt the normal sunshine and roses you typically read here to give you a glimpse of our week.

This week has been an overwhelming, long, tiring, exhausting week. And I can say that now on Friday afternoon while my hyperactive 17 month old child is sound asleep and the other two won't be home until this evening and also because today has been the best day of our week so far and I have got to believe we're on our way up out of the funk I've been in.

Allow me to share with you some highlights of my week:

Mondays are our busiest day right now. H and I take ECFE in the mornings. Where this week in class H discovered the snack cabinet and constantly wanted to open the cabinet and grab the snacks. I only spent the first 45 minutes of class trying to occupy him with other things.

We come home for lunch and nap. Typically H awakes just before the bus comes so we headed to the bus stop to greet M at 2:30pm.

T is currently doing third grade football so he stays after until 3:45pm. We pick him up. Come home, have snacks, get M dressed and ready for dance/gymnastics which starts at 5pm.

This last week we went early because we had to order new tap shoes, so I set H on the floor and asked T to keep an eye on him for a minute while I filled out the order and paid.

I turned around to see T fully engaged in some toys on the floor and no H.

M rushes off into the gym for class. I walked over to T.
"Where's H?"

"Umm. Oops." He looked at me embarrassed.

Immediately I started to panic thinking he got outside the front door and is in the parking lot. But nope as soon as I went to the door to look out a woman came into the lobby.

"Who's child is this?" She bellowed nastily.

"Oh my goodness. He's mine. I am SO sorry." I apologize profusely.

"You need to keep a better eye on your child, he was running across the gymnastics floor and that is not safe."

I apologize again.
She keeps yelling.
I keep apologizing.
She keeps yelling.

Believe me, my child will never again be loose in that gym. Every single parent in the lobby stared at me like I had broken some cardinal rule.

By the time J walked in the door to meet us at class I had had more than enough. Between putting on ballet shoes, entertaining H, putting on tap shoes, cleaning up cereal that H spilt all over the floor, trying to convince T why this would be a good time to do his daily reading for school, I was done.

"I...am...going home!" I said exasperated.

So home I came.
Alone.

Not for any free down time, but to make dinner since class gets out at 6:15 and by the time we usually get home it's 6:30.

With a 7:30pm bedtime that's not much time.

Let's talk about Tuesday now, shall we?

I've mentioned H's new separation issues. Well in the past what seemed to help was talking about it before I left for work. Saying today I am going to work and babysitter girl is coming over.

He did so much better with the transition.

Well this last week, as soon as I mentioned babysitter girl and me going to work, he freaked.

Try getting two kids out the door for school and get yourself ready for work with an 17 month old attached to your leg. It's nearly impossible. And people at school wonder why sometimes I look the way I do.

I should have known though that something was up because by the time I got home at 2pm. H had a temp of 103 degrees.

So our Wednesday day was spent at home. And it was one of the longest days of my entire life.

H was into everything and everywhere. I was tired. He was tired. I was cranky. He was cranky.

Naturally, it was a day J was working late.

H napped less than an hour in the afternoon. I was thinking it might not be that bad since he'd go to bed earlier.

No such luck.

By 8pm I decided that I had had enough and he could stay up and run around until J got home. His choice activity was climbing up and down the entryway steps.

I was spent. Physically. Emotionally. In every regard.

Thursday morning I woke up and felt miserable. I was exhausted from the busyness of life and an active, ill toddler the day before who decided to awake three different times that night.

And don't worry, my husband slept soundly.

I sat on the couch for about 30 minutes waiting for babysitter girl to arrive. I did not get H dressed. I barely got myself dressed and certainly did not shower, what with the new 5am wake up he tried that morning.

Halfway through the day I called home and asked babysitter girl to take H to the park so I could come home, take a shower and get some overdue projects done for work without any distractions. (Who do I think I am, a NYC mama?)

It was right about then that I decided no, being a mom is not easy. Being a stay at home mom isn't easy and being a working mom isn't easy. And considering I fall in between the two "titles" I'm going to go out on a limb and say being any kind of mom is hard work.

By the way, what's the deal with the title stay-at-home mom? Do you seriously know any moms who stay at home all the time? Because I don't.

I'm generally a happy, easy going, fun loving person, you should know that about me by now, but this past week I was not. I was tired, down and overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by all the stresses and tasks on my plate.

My plate is heapingly full.

Family commitments and childrens activities. My job. My husbands ever growing career. My home that was a heck of a lot cleaner when I worked full time, how does that work? The task of trying to teach little people how to live their lives while providing an environment where they can grow and flourish their little wings.

I love being a mom and stepmom and would not trade for one second any of it. The craziness and the calm. (I'm trying to remember if there has ever been a calm?)

But sometimes weeks like this week happen and I just want to pull my hair out and scream.

I'm serious.

Sometimes it's just not any fun.

Thankfully there are more times that are fun than the ones that aren't.

So this post is dedicated to all the mothers. The veteran mom's who's kids are grown. The new moms with itty bitty babies just figuring it out. The mom of school age kids. The stepmoms. The future mamas.

Dedicated to all of those, because for me, it's important to be honest and give credit where credit is due.

You've got (or you will have) one of the toughest jobs out there. And there are going to be days and moments where you think you are in way over your head, but in the end, your reward is all the little blessings a child (both big and small) brings to you.

So how about this, the next time you see a mom out and about struggling through her day, help her out, make her smile and give her a little grace.

She may just be feeling a tad bit overwhelmed.